Queen of Hearts, Ace of Spades
by moonrainer
Summary: Charlie knows that he needs to confront Tonks, even if it might endanger their friendship.


**A/N** All the characters and places you recognise here are based on J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. The story below, however, is entirely my own.

 **Written for** The Golden Snitch's _Pride Month_ ("Love is not a choice.") / Beauxbatons, Barbegazi

* * *

"Charlie!"

He whirled around to see Tonks sprinting towards him, her bag clutched to her chest. She'd accidentally ripped its strap the other day and still hadn't fixed it. Typically.

"Hi," she panted, dropping her bag in order to pull him to the side of the corridor. "Good thing I caught you. Haven't talked to you in ages! It's as if you're avoiding me." She laughed, but as a matter of fact, he _had_ been avoiding her.

For quite a while now, Charlie had had the impression that there was something different about Tonks, and he had the creeping suspicion that it was his fault. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but somehow, their dynamic had shifted. It made him increasingly uncomfortable, which was why he'd recently tried not to be around her as much anymore. But now that she stood in front of him, he just felt guilty and insecure.

"Anyway," Tonks went on, "It's only a few weeks until you're off to Romania, and we haven't been hanging out as much as I'd like. How about we go down to the lake after class today? The weather's gorgeous!"

Charlie hesitated. Tonks was one of his best friends. Still, he'd become terrified of being alone with her.

Of course, he still liked her. He cherished their friendship; it was one of the few things in his life that he could always depend on. Ever since they'd first met in their first ear at Hogwarts, they'd always been there for each other and kept each other's secrets.

Suddenly, he felt stupid. They knew each other so well. Why couldn't he just talk to her? _Because you're scared of what might happen to the two of you if this goes wrong_ , a voice in his head clarified. He didn't want their friendship to break apart over this. On the other hand, ignoring the problem wouldn't solve it either. In fact, that would probably be the worse of the two evils, which was why, he realised, he needed to confront Tonks. But confrontation had never been his strong point. And it was hard…

 _Stop being a coward_ , he chided himself, straightening to his full height. (She was still a little taller than him.) _Now or never._

"Tonks…" He wracked his brains for the best way to start this conversation.

"I know, I can't believe it either!" she went on, "How can it be so nice out today after, what, three weeks of perpetual rain?"

"No, that's not-" He paused to collect his thoughts and took a deep breath. "There's an Erumpent in the room."

"What?" The look on her face was priceless, but he forced himself not to laugh. He needed to stay focused.

"Look, Tonks, there's something you're not saying. Something that should be obvious to me but isn't really, for some reason. And it feels weird." He forced himself to hold eye contact with her. "I want to be open with you, because you're … important to me and … I know if I just keep ignoring it, it won't end well. I don't want to lose you."

"Oh," Tonks just said, her cheeks slightly red.

Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. "This is an awkward conversation. Sorry, I, erm … I'm not good at this."

"No, no, it's not your fault." Tonks started laughing. "Are you trying to tell me that you're not into me?"

It was as if she'd switched on the lights in his head. "Oh. No. I mean, yeah, I guess?" When she scrunched up her face in confusion, he quickly clarified, "I'm not into you. But I'm not into anyone else either, never have been! What I'm saying is that it's not you, it's- I don't know, but you're great, I'd love to be into you, that would be nice, but I-"

"Charlie, calm down." Tonks gently put a hand over his mouth. "It's okay, I understand." A smile lingered on her lips; she neither looked mad nor distraught, which he found extremely comforting. "Love is not a choice," she said.

"But I do-"

"I know," she softly interrupted. "And I really appreciate it. We're friends, really good friends. I was just hoping for something more. But that's not your concern."

Even though she tried to hide it, he could see the disappointment in her face. He'd hurt her, and he hated himself for it.

"If I knew how to fall in love with you, I'd do it immediately. But I guess my love is broken."

"That's not how love works." Tonks took his hands in hers and looked intently into his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with you, Charlie. Never forget this."

Charlie smiled. Of course. He should have talked to her all along. How could he ever have doubted the strength of their friendship?

Still, the sadness in her eyes slowly drove invisible daggers into his chest. Now it was his turn to be there for her.

"You're a wonderful witch, Nymphadora Tonks. I'm sure you'll find the right person for you eventually."

She laughed at his clichéd phrasing. "With my luck, it's probably going to be a vampire!"

"Nonsense," Charlie said. "A werewolf's far more likely."

They both snorted with laughter, and Tonks punched his arm. "I can promise you right now that you won't be invited to the wedding!"

"Oh dear, how will I cope?" With exaggerated desperation, he threw his hands to the sides of his head. He knew she loved it when he was being silly like that. "Oh wait! I'll probably be busy cuddling dragons, so I won't have much time for anything else anyway."

"Yeah, about that," she interjected, more serious. "Promise me you'll stay in touch and tell me all about it. I want detailed descriptions of every single dragon!"

"I will, but only if you keep me updated on any creatures of the night that manage to sneak into your life." He winked and raised another smile from her.

"Deal!" They shook hands, and Charlie pulled her into a hug. Her spiky, grass-green hair tickled his cheek and smelled like apples. He'd miss not being able to see her change her appearance at will. He'd miss everything about her.

When they broke apart, he held her by the shoulders. "So … lake this afternoon?"

"I'd love that," Tonks beamed.

"You should probably head to class first."

"So should you!" she retorted. "Do you think that just because you've got a job lined up you can skive off whenever you like?"

"No, I'm still the head boy, remember?" Charlie chuckled. "My Herbology lesson got cancelled. Professor Sprout is still trying to fix the mess you made this morning. By the way, why exactly did you set fire to the self-fertilising shrubs in greenhouse five?"

"That was an accident!" she protested.

"Thought as much." He threw her a knowing look, before consulting his watch. "You better hurry - you've got five minutes!"

"Merlin!" she exclaimed, and before Charlie knew it, she was already dashing down the corridor, shouting goodbyes as she tried not to stumble over her robes.

When she was out of sight, her bag still sat on the floor where she'd dropped it a few minutes ago. Charlie picked it up, smiling. She would be okay, he realised. After all of this, she was still very much the same Tonks he knew and loved (in his very own way).

* * *

 **A/N** The Charlie I imagine is (and always will be) aro/ace. This is my take on how he might have first realised that there's nothing wrong with not falling in love and/or not feeling sexually attracted to others. I'm aware that the ace/aro umbrella is broad and that my fic isn't very specific concerning what Charlie identifies as. However, I also believe that, while definite labels can be helpful, they are by no means necessary. It's just important that everyone's sexual and romantic orientation is regarded as valid, and if Charlie's happy, so am I. :) So yeah, happy Pride Month!


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